TJ

A week after moving to Stillwater in early 2007, we picked up a 4 and 1/2 year old Samoyed named TJ and brought him to our new home, where he immediately peed on the wall. It was his home, just as much as it was ours. The people of the house have always made it run, but TJ was the heart of our home. This has made the last two days here particularly hard. After finding TJ in pain and distress on Thursday afternoon, we had to say a sad goodbye to the happiest member of our family.

When Nicole first learned his given name, she thought it was dumb and resolved to change it. But as soon as we were introduced to him, we knew he was definitely a TJ. Even though he had only just met us, he immediately jumped into the back of our open car and became a permanent part of our family. The goofiest dog we ever knew, who happened to be the sweetest one, too.

He was a constant companion. If Nicole could have changed his name, it probably would have been to Shadow. He followed her all over the house out of great concern. Not for her safety, but just so he knew she was there. Adam was primarily responsible for morning and evening meals and the twice daily walks that he required. We were both so important for him to feel comfort. I know for some families, a dog will attach to one person, but for TJ, he loved both of us equally. There is no way we loved him more than he loved us. The dog that would never bark for anything only barked when we arrived home from work and when he was separated too far away from us. He couldn't even handle having us in separate rooms, and would not relax until we were together. He cared so deeply for us. We gave him the best life possible, but were no match for how fully he gave his heart to us.

When you have built your life around someone, how do you go on without them? Our house has become so quiet now. There were so many reminders of him in our lives. The little clicks his nails made while trotting back and forth to check on us. His heavy breathing in our faces whenever he smiled. The soft whines he made to remind us he deserved his evening treat. The long and loud process of licking his paws that never started until Nicole and I were safely in bed. And the deep, satisfied snores he produced when he knew we were going to stay in one place long enough for him to finally get some rest. All these sounds used to be annoying, but now we miss them more than anything. A house that seemed small with a dog always in the way has suddenly become too big. 

TJ stayed with us long enough to enjoy the last snowstorm of this long winter. He ran and played in the snow on a Tuesday and said goodbye on Friday. He never liked being warm, which is why he left when he did. He chose a day to leave us so that Nicole and I would have the weekend to remember and grieve for him. For a dog that was unwilling to learn anything new, he was always thoughtful and considerate.

Our home is filled with wonderful memories and it should be no surprise that we literally have thousands of pictures of our furry friend. As trying as this sad ordeal has been, we have no regrets and are thankful to have had him in our lives for the time he gave us. Not a day went by for TJ without his favorite walks around the neighborhood, tasty treats, plenty of hugs and kisses, and words of praise and gratitude for his friendly spirit.

Soon we will have his ashes, and we can take him to a few of the places he loved most. But most of those ashes will always stay with us, so that he can always know where we are, and in that way can truly rest in peace.